he did.

I am not really comfortable with saying just what he said because it would contain more than i am able to share... but I can say that I have never met anyone like him. No one has ever cared in the way he so openly does... and I have never trusted anyone like I do with him.

instead of telling me it was bad but no big deal... instead of just moving along through it quickly and telling me what I almost wanted him to - that it wasn't so bad - he told me it affected him at the high end of how things make him feel. He said that he hears a lot... and this impacted him more than most.

he said more, and he was explicit and open... definitive... but again, not ok with explaining it here.

I just wanted to say how humbled i am by this... I am moved beyond words. He has shaken my foundations and I am unable to even understand the universe anymore. He has broken my "rules' of how people and things work... and has disregarded my absolute principles on what or who i am... he has dared to respect me and care for me despite my best efforts to convince him of my ultimate lack of worth.

it's ok though... as confused as i am, and as much as his kindness hurts for some reason... i am ok with having the universe inverted. i don't understand anything but it is better than the understanding i have lived with for so long. Mass chaos is better than misery any day.

besides... i have come far enough to know that he will stand by me as long as i need him and if I reach for him he will reach back. It's a good feeling... one I fought off and could not understand.

peace out