"thank you sweetie . i will see pdoc next week, probably, and maybe mention it then. the crisis part is over (he's back in the grovelling 'let's make up' stage ) "

Ooooooooooooooook. Now I understand a bit more. And this is REALLY IMPORTANT stuff.

You're in an abusive relationship, and yes they DO cycle. Sky posted really good info on this somewhere in this forum. You are in what is officially called "The Honeymoon Stage". This is actually studied and the cycles are all charted (i have taken courses in this prior to working in a Women's Shelter, I still have all the charts). This is the place where women go "Oh it's ok, it's really not that bad - he loves me" and they go back to him.

The cycle doesn't stop just because now he's being nice to you =( It keeps on cycling. you said "The crisis is over". Yeah - for now =(
((((((((((((((((Deli))))))))))))))))))
I soooooooooooooooooooooooo want to tell you to RUN while you can. Get out!!! But it is ultimately your right and descision. On average, it takes a woman 8 times to finally and officially leave the abusive relationship. Once a woman leaves, but then goes back, her life is in danger and things can often escelate to violence once the guy (not always male - for those reading) gets the hint that the gal has enough power to leave. Police often say that trying to leave again is the most dangerous and can end up really super badly.

Probably more info than you really wanted, and I know it took me a year to leave my abusive BF... I wouldn't listen to what my friends said and couldn't see what they saw because I was too close to the situation.

PM any time, i care!!!!
hugs, kiya