Thanks, all. ((((((((((everyone))))))))))

I know I'm being silly. Maybe it's just nerves, and the depression is taking advantage of that. I hate starting new things and meeting new people, I'm always so terrified they're going to see what an incompetent, clueless person I am. At school, at least I don't have to pretend I'm competent because I'm good at being a student. Everything else, though -- work, family, socializing -- it feels like I can never do anything right. I feel like a screwup before I start, and it's only a matter of time before others see that too ...

I know I have no self-esteem. I know how to recognize the self-deprecating thoughts I have about myself. But recognizing them doesn't always make them stop coming and coming and coming... Yesterday I told the interviewer I'm comfortable dealing with people. I have no idea why I said that. I'm not. I'm not even comfortable dealing with myself.

Sorry to vent. I'm just really freaking out