hi Elysium,

thanks to you too for replying. yep was definately numb alright. and now that you mention that even my body felt a bit numb. my face felt sort of frozen and tingly too.

i do mean literally i felt emotionally like a 5 year old. tiny, terrfied, unsure of my surroundings, of myself, hugely hugely vulnerable, suddenly all giddy though still a bit wary when talking about stupid baby ducks. lol. also not able to think at all really or put many words together.

when i lay down though i definately wasnt asleep because i was aware of breathing. though not much beyond that. breathing and cold. the rest was blank. i sometimes think of that as like a dog sleeping with one eye open. im totally asleep except that one eye. not literally but that bit of awareness is still 'turned on'.

this makes me very uncomfortable.

thank you for the questions and thoughts. i dont mean to over-dramatise but i really would like to be able to understand this is all. understanding things always makes me feel better about them eventually.

thanks again Elysium