I have been married 27 years and have been in therapy for the last 15 years. I also pretty much went right from my parents home to a home with my husband. I have a dx of DID and have been working hard to heal too. My husband has been very supportive but also co-dependent, afraid, neglectful and angry at times. It hurts. I know.

My husband and I are both alcoholics, now recovering and sober. We were each caught on a merry-go-round of real and imagined hurts. I finally after 12 years of therapy, with therapists who had worked with many DID patients, was able to stop drinking with the help of my current T. And huge credit to my insider M.I.A. whose job it was to drink to keep memories away from me. My husband stopped too. I started going to AA after a hospitalization at a well known Trauma Center. I went 6 days a week. He wouldn't go. I kept going. One day he went to Al-Anon with me. Then another day he went to AA. He said he would never speak at these meetings, now he shares regularly. The reason I am writing this is because I was not able to go any further in MY healing until I was willing to give my husband up if need be. Always in the past I had said I would do anything to get better except that. I cannot support myself either, but I knew I had to be willing to try if I couldn't continue healing unless I was willing. Just willing to not actually doing. For me it was a life and death situation. For me that's what it took.

I have a Higher Power today that is light and good. I turn everything over to It and I go to self-help groups. I have learned I am only responsible for my own actions. I cannot control anyone but myself. Also, and this is the reason I wrote all of this....
just to be able to say to you....I am not a doormat and you don't have to be one either.