She's quitting. Completely. Totally. Permanently. And I'm stupdefied.

Mostly because I didn't see this coming, and there wasn't a forewarning.

Oh, and better yet... she told the entire group of people (our psychotherapy group) before I had arrived, so she repeated herself at the end of the meeting.

And while she's saying this and I'm trying not to cry --> My FREAKING PSYCHIATRIST IS STARING AT ME. Because he KNEW it would upset me.

grrr. And he said absolutely nothing and I could have screamed.

Erm, Christina is an angry person sometimes.

Anyways. Sigh. If my now current therapist says something like "sorry, I can't see you anymore and you've got to deal with stuff yourself" ...

Well, I'll just curl up in a ball and die. Stupid worst case scenarios always run through my head and this was actually one I DIDNT FREAKING IMAGINE.

Dontcha hate that?? You worry about things, see the worst case scenario and worry about it - and it doesn't happen. But the minute you think everything is fine and great, something goes wrong that you hadn't even expected and you didn't plan the worst case scenario for it because you DIDNT THINK IT WOULD HAPPEN.

I feel like the wool has been pulled over my eyes. Or the rug from under my feet... erm, wheelchair.

Sigh. And I cannot believe she wouldn't tell me about this when I had an appt with her on Tuesday, HONESTLY!!

She even said that one of these next sessions I could play with this sandbox thing she has... some sort of drama? It sounded like fun. I miss being a kid and getting my hands dirty... sigh. Weird.

blah. I'm just going to ignore her now and pretend this doesnt bug me and I wont say a word to her about how much it bugs me. Thats what I do when this happens. I clam up and shut up and hide and put on a happy face.

But theres gonna be a lot of ignoring going on. And I feel justified in doing it even though its childish and stupid and immature and mean and rude.

blah. I don't feel 22 years old right now. Not at all. *grr*