thanks for your support, guys. i'm sorry i brought this issue here. i don't think it's fair to bring up something like this but not be able to reassure ppl that i am doing something about it.

it's not an abusive relationship. at least, not an abusive romantic relationship. i'm not sure what sort of difference that makes.

but yeah, i guess there are moments of being mistreated.

it's ok, though, really. it hasn't happened again, and we're back on speaking terms. it hadn't happened for a few years, so there isn't much reason to suppose it will happen again soon.

i do have long term plans to scale back contact, but at the moment i'm not in a position where i can just leave. it's not that i'd be unable to, it's just that i have other goals i want to achieve, and it is more convenient to stay in this situation. i have spoken this over with pdoc extensively, and he's come to see it my way also.

if it keeps happening, i will reevaluate, but for the moment i'm prepared to see it as a one-off.