I understand that you feel you cannot trust. I feel the same way. Maybe you could be your boyfriend's source of companionship and emotional support. Holding hands, kissing hands, showing that you care is the most important thing you can do, and it takes nothing from you if you believe you do care. I keep hoping that one day I will be able to trust. I do not have the opportunity too often to try. Care for your bf, give a little touching and hugging. We all need it. Try it. God bless. kate1218