Well, my T (who doesn't primarily use DBT) generally responds to me acting passive by herself acting even more passive until I give it up. Something tells me Marsha Linehan would approve of that method of calling my bluff.

Yes, this incident, especially with the dream which intensified the whole thing times 5, is on my agenda for therapy tomorrow, um, actually I guess that's today, actually. As would also be avoiding the husband by not going to bed even though I will continue to be sleep-deprived on a day with 5 hours of driving to do. Uh huh, this is going to be a fun one, isn't it?

In DBT terms, once again, there is a balance between acceptance vs. change strategies. Quite a touchy one. Validation of the way that things are is helpful to a point, but validation that "yes, you are passive and helpless and weak" would turn out to be invalidating. Sometimes irreverence may be called for. It all comes down to the context.

Yes, I'll be ok. I've been a bit off today (yesterday?), but I made it through the day, and for once I have therapy scheduled right at about the right time.

I was going to say something else. What was it? Oh yes, assertiveness is the only communication style that doesn't tend to feel manipulative. Passive, aggressive, and passive-aggressive all tend to feel that way, whether or not the person acting passively, aggressively, or passive-aggressively actually gets what they want. There's that balance thing again.