I've been fighting the urge to cut all week, and last night I finally lost the battle. I've been under pressure from my mother to attend a large wedding and spend the weekend with her; and I don't feel comfortable telling her that I've been dissociating a lot lately (which would be embarrassing at the wedding). Also, I haven't spent any time with my mother in many months because I don't want to talk to her about my illness (also because she's a trigger). I really do need to go and see her, because she IS my mother and she will be having surgery soon.

I'm only seeing my therapist every two weeks now, and I don't like to bother him between sessions, so I've been trying to deal with my issues by myself. I feel better now, but if I go to the wedding and to my mother's I'll have to hide my cuts, which are quite long.

Ah well. I made it a little over three weeks this time.

Julie