congrats on not SIing
thats great!!! - I would like to ask the same question - are you seeing a T? its hard to do this on your own - please take care of yourself - youa re not stupid - you are human and sometimes we get depressed - learning how to deal with those emotions is a hard thing - but you can do it and a T can help
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts 
its how many times you get back up! 
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture 
)
When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet