I SI to ;
ground myself
punish myself
make the outside as ugly as I feel the inside to be
to avoid dealing with the issues and emotions that are causing the emotions/feelings I am trying to avoid
to feel something- anything
as a way to side step suicidal thoughts
I have had CBT, TFT, EMDR, DBT and I have a fantastic T now that is helping me.
There are stickies at the top of the threads that have very good info in them - worth a read - take care P7
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts 
its how many times you get back up! 
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture 
)
When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet