(((chaotic)))
I think what you wrote is interesting. Your entire relationship has bloomed and changed but you got what you needed then and you get what you need now too.
I like the idea of the flexibility of this. Sometimes I worry with my current T because I fear that my amount of "need" is more than this new relationship can offer or hold. Yet, I am learning that even though I worry about this, she seems well equipped to meet me where I am right now. And I am in this weird, needful, want to know she's there all the time, trying to establish object permanency stage. Right now I need gentleness and care and I am getting that. I imagine as I heal now and then move to the next thing I might need something different too.
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Originally Posted by chaotic13
Searching I think your comment about my T just going with whatever level of attach I set is true. I've noted before that I think my T allowing me to create and even transform my therapeutic enirvonment as I go. At first I needed a firm, sterile all business T, that is kind of what she gave me. Now I can accept more and she is giving more.
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I hadn't ever thought of this sunrise- but now that I see what you have posted I am thinking back to when my DH and I saw my T for couples counseling. She approached him very different than she did me. She would get much more formal and surface with him in our sessions. She would go into much more emotional depth with me in our sessions. I find this facinating because we both really liked doing couples work with her and both of us felt as if she really was attuned to each of us in session. Yet she often approached us differently.
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Originally Posted by sunrise
That's interesting, chaotic. I guess they are somewhat changeable and do adapt to what the client signals they want and can tolerate. I know sometimes when my H and I have had couples sessions, my T initially began in a very businesslike, problem-solving mode. I believe he did this to put my H at ease. He has told me men are often more comfortable with this sort of approach. Since I knew my T better, and could tolerate much from him, he accommodated more to my H with his manner and approach, so as not to spook him.
However, sometimes at my legal meetings, T will say a very therapist-like thing, that is not businesslike at all, and I think the lawyers are the ones who are caught a little off balance by that. I actually love that. Go, T!
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Yes! Go T!