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white_iris, you are right about how they get their sense of worth and identity from their jobs. I did choose to take a nap since i could not sleep last night and he was polite after my nap. I have done my best for him for 29 years - which is not to say i feel i've been a great wife. I've stayed in therapy for over 14 years trying to get well. All he ever said was "when you get ok, everything will be ok". I used to actually believe that....good grief. He is completely clueless about anything emotional and deeper than performing like the energizer bunny!!!
i am scared because i have lost all emotional love for him. I don't "get" love, i get pain, grief, anger, misery but love...totally mysterious like calculus. I don't even know what calculus is or does...argh. Trigonometry..what is that?????? It's so scary to lose hope in my marriage. I have always said "divorce is not an option". I never thought he would be cold and indifferent and undercutting me. I feel trapped in here and like i failed at the one most important relationship besides the one with my God and also my love for my children. So scared.
thanks for your kindness white_iris!!!!!!
leslie, bereft and alone
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  HEALING HAPPENS
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