Why me? No... why NOW?

I went out with a friend tonight who I had not seen in two months. We had a great time. We stopped off to see another friend who just had a baby (SO CUTE!!!) and then we went and saw a funny movie and just hang out.

I should be feeling good. I laughed, I talked, I relaxed. I was having fun. But I felt like the entire time, the depression was stalking just behind me, waiting until I left my friend and came home to pounce. I do not know how I'm going to get up tomorrow morning. I do not know how I'm going to go back to work and concentrate on what people are saying or what I'm supposed to do. I've been zoning in and out of conversations, instructions, pretty much everything all day. I just want to crawl into a corner and curl up into a ball and hide.

I know I'm worn out because I've only been back from school for a week and I haven't had time to actually relax. I know that I'm freaking out because I feel like my entire summer is going to be taken up by doing nothing but the things I don't want to do, because when I'm at home, my time is NEVER my own. I need some time to decompress or I know I'm going to have a complete meltdown. I'm "supposed" to only be working weekends at my new job right now but I have a feeling they'll ask if I want to work Monday in that suggestive, you're-working-monday-but-we'll-make-it-sound-like-your-choice kind of way. I don't think I can. I'll drag myself through tomorrow because I have to but I can feel the depression coming on and if I don't get a break -- SOON -- from having to work, from having to be at my family's beck and call, from getting next to no sleep or sunshine or exercise or me time ... I'm going to burn out. And here I was thinking SCHOOL was causing my problems. Apparently, I'm going to feel like **** no matter where I go.

Sorry. Don't mean to whine. I know how negative this all sounds and I hate myself for saying any of it. I should just suck it up. Other people have way more stressful and difficult lives than me. I'm not even sure why I'm complaining here except that I can't really complain to anyone else without them telling me I'm being ungrateful or ridiculous or overreacting or lazy or whatever else. I just feel so ... ugh.