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Jun 08, 2009, 08:42 AM
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Member Since: Sep 2007
Location: Sch of hard knocks.
Posts: 2,179
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Was having a one on one session with myself all morning. I was daring myself to go to session today and demand T take no more breaks.
Session begun awkard, thought I'd chickened out, spoke about how I feel I Have this spoilt child within me and then blurted out, "I don't want you take anymore breaks".
Actually that when better then I thought it would, I always fear T's reaction will be angry or something, but she always knows how to respond as if we are having just a tete a tete.
We talked a whole lot more and T said, "would you like me to send you a postcard?" Oh that felt so nice!, I said, yes that would be good.
A lot of talk about how non competitive I am, how I avoid feeling any disappointment and realised like my last drinking days when the alcohol wasn't "doing it for me" any more, my denial of what I feel and desire isn't working any longer now, and I have no option but to go to T and talk about things that are most painful.
I did ask if it was possible to do therapy in silence? LOL! and T said, "actually its been done, a guy when to a kleinian therapist and just sat there silent for 6months and then said thank you very much, this has been most useful, and left!! " LOL!
I shall look forward to THAT postcard come August! 
T has a way of not having to give way, but to offer things that help fill that hole within. My head terrifys me and tells me that I will never get filled up,but thats never the case.
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Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach
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