I've been dating a guy for several months now who has gender issues. I, personally, am one of those females who likes sensitive men, so I kind of fell into a trap there. I have nothing against transgenderism or anything like that, but I personally feel that he would not make a good 'girl.' I can't bring myself to tell him that, though.

The bigger issue here for me is based on my own personal issues. I can't imagine why in hell anyone would want to be a girl. Every day I am extremely sensitive to the negative aspects of being female. I feel weaker--like I couldn't defend myself if someone wanted to take advantage of me--and I feel oppressed and not taken seriously. I dress sophisticatedly and act sophisticatedly but I'm not feeling like I'm being treated equally at all by males (and even females). Why would someone want to be in on the lower hand of the gender scale when they were born with it all?

I know my boyfriend has even had some bad past experiences that logically should make him NOT want to be a girl, but he still insists on it. The thing that blows my mind the most, though, is the fact that he does not act like a girl at all! The only thing that would give me a clue that he wants to be a girl is his sensitivity and his dislike for the male stereotype. But he hates the female stereotype too! But otherwise this is a guy who loves to fight, loves UFC, acts masculine, and even the way he talks is masculine. He loves the color pink and likes to wear feminine earrings. That's all I can see so far of it. He says he is comfortable with his genitals, too; just not the rest of his body for some reason (he wants breasts or something).

He has told me, when I've asked him about it, something about a 'splendor' attached with females. I can kinda see it and that's what I like about some females too (and I want to be that way), but I just do not see how all the other horrible things that come with being female (must I mention the 'crimson wave' or 'red sea' as i put it), such as the oppression and the pressure men put on us etc. etc. could be worth it. I would be perfectly happy as a male if I were born one (i.e. with the same personality), but because I was born female I'm not going to try to change it. I hate and love enough about both genders nearly evenly so I'm not going to trouble myself with a switch, even though I hate how I'm treated as a female.

BTW it's not a child bearing thing with him either--I know that's sometimes the issue with male to female transsexuals.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thanks so much, everyone.