I know!!!! I'm so excited!! I was dancing around my flat, singing my head off like a goof

Sannah, yes my anxiety levels have been incredibly high and I really don't think that Connor quite realises just how bad it is... Maybe because I'm hiding it too well, I don't know....? Yesterday, for the first time in about a month, I purged I didn't plan for it to happen, I thought I'd been okay all day and had a good day with Connor and could just let it be knowing that I'd had a good day. But then i started to feel the wave of nausea from feeling so guilty, sweeping over me. Dammit! Now I have to write that in my diray and Sian's going to read it and she's not gonna be hapy what'll I do???

I feel so anxious today, so edgy and yesterday after eating with Connor, I got a sugar rush because I hadn't had sugar in so long, so passed out from that :-/ scary. I didn't sleep well at all last night. I just kept tossing and turning. I got up and walked around and could justfeel my whole body aching whenever I got back into bed to attempt sleep again. In the end, I just read a book until my eyes felt so heavy that the words just ran into each other. Still didn't flaming sleep!!

I didn't sleep until about 4am and had to be up at 6, but nooooo. My body decided it'd only let me sleep for an hour and I was awake again at 5am!! ******* my stupid, annoying, messed up body clock!!!!! just want to cry today.

I can't believe I purged last night. I can't believe I feel like ODing today to get rid of what I've had for breakfast, I can't believe I'm such a failure.