Figuring It Out, do you know what it is about this experience that you are having a hard time letting go? What bothers you the most? What you are stuck on? (you have mentioned a number of things). Is it that the first student therapist terminated you at the drop of a hat when you told her how you felt about her? You had what you thought was a caring relationship with her and she unilaterally terminated it? You were powerless?

Or was it that she would not believe you and what you reported your symptoms to be (anxiety/depression)? Was it that she incorrectly insisted you had a problem you did not have (self-harm), and that made you feel ignored and wronged and even patronized?

Was it that she tried to treat you for something you didn't need treating for and so you feel like she was dishonest with you? She tried to slip something by you? The treatment I am most familiar with for self-harm is DBT. These are some good life skills that can actually help for many things. So I'm guessing it wasn't DBT she tried or this wouldn't be so upsetting? It was a more invasive treatment?

It seems like from what you've written it could be a lot of things that are hard for you to let go about this. But maybe there is one core thing that is causing you the most angst. Do you know what it is? Is it the unilateral termination (that would sure bug me)? If there is one thing that matters more, maybe it would help you get past it to be able to identify it from amidst the complexity of what you experienced. And then target it specifically. I do EMDR with my therapist sometimes, and we always pick a target to work on (this is typically the way EMDR goes). It is most productive to have one specific target. Then you take care of that and come back another day with a different target. I'm not trying to suggest you do EMDR (although it can be helpful when one is stuck), but just wondering if you can identify the thing that bugs you most about this whole episode.

And if you know what it is, do you know what would help get past it? Something like EMDR with another therapist? Talk therapy with a competent T? Acknowledgement by the student T that what she did was harmful? An apology? Maybe if you go to her supervisor, he/she could arrange a 3-way meeting with him/herself, the student T, and you so that this student could make amends to you. Would that help? Or maybe a letter from her to you acknowledging the mistakes she made?

I know it is very different, but there have been things I have really been stuck on in therapy about my marriage (I am getting divorced). Sometimes they come up in therapy--things from my marriage and the way my H treated me that seemed unfair, unmerited, uncalled for, just plain selfish and mean and pointless. (Why? Why? Why?) It's hard getting past all of this for me, since I endured it without complaining for 20 years. It's just taking a long time to bring out some of this anger. What seems to be helping is just having a patient soul there across from me with a kind face and empathy--someone who is able to see things from my point of view and totally gets why I feel the way I do. It is helping me.