I"m Willow and I just made my own blog!

I guess I should elaborate a little more... eh?
I am Amy. I suffer with OCD and PTSD and mild depression. Deep down I really enjoy life. I have just had the wind knocked out of my sails so many times, it's left me heartsick. I'm 41 and unmarried. I doubt I'll be married any time soon... but it is a sore spot for me. It's not so much that I want to be married. I just want to be "claimed". Being unclaimed emphasizes the feeling I have of being unwanted, ugly, broken, etc. Now... I realize that's not a reason to get hooked up. I'm actually more comfortable living alone than sharing space. I've been alone all my life. I'm an only child, and was so much of a social outcast in my formative years that now I don't even want to try. I don't even enjoy people in social settings. I love people... but I can't relax around people. The internet was such a wonderful discovery for me. All these wonderful people in a box on my desk. I can dial them up and talk to them and grow and learn from them without the common social expectations that take place in my physical relationships. It truly is a wonder and I could be addicted if I didn't realize that in order to grow... I have to keep working on my local friendships and pushing myself into the social arena as much as possible. I've got a ton of other stuff to share that could fill a book. I'll stop for now though Thanks for the fresh start! I'm loving it!