is it realistic for me to want T to know "the answers" to things I bring up? the whys of certain events, the whys of my responses to them?

it's not so much that I want her to TELL me. I am beginning to think that what I may want is for her to just KNOW, so that if / when I ever get to what I think is the why, she can smile and say, yes. You got it.

It has happened a few times in our work together, and it was so much of an accomplishment to hear it. I fear that I won't hear it any more, things I need to work on are so convoluted and dark to me, I may not even be able to make her understand what I am trying to tel lher about. and at the rate of one hour every 3 wks, it seems like an endless, uphill climb.