It's been said many times in this thread but I think the most important point is being held accountable for your own actions. The only person on the planet one can control is oneself.

In my opinion if you are living in a situation where there is violence you need to remove yourself from that situation, if you are a minor contact the authorities to assist you.

Someone here has a signature that he who angers you controls you. Truer words have never been spoken. You DO have a choice in 1) whether or not to continue to be angry and 2) how that anger is expresssed.

You stated that "I him him over the head as I left, throwing him to the ground." I'm not being confrontational or unsupportive, but I want you to know that action is on you. The issue had been resolved you were leaving, no one was stopping you. You made a choice to let your anger and frustration decide your actions. You need to own that, until you realize that you are accountable for your own behaviors you will never change them.

This thread was particularly difficult for me to respond to, I've read it many many times. I see that you love your nephews very much. My brother and I also grew up in a violent household. Before my father stopped drinking we blamed the alcohol the rest is just an inability to control his temper. I truly believe he never ever meant to cross the line and hurt us, he just could not control his temper.

Michah asked for compassion. (Although I must confess I see your situation completely differently. I think self defense or defense of ones child entitles one to use any force necessary. Fear and anger are two different emotions.) I have compassion and empathy but I am also tired of rationalizations. I too deal with that anger demon every day and if I can do it anyone can. It's hard and a constant struggle. But BECAUSE I grew up in the reality of someone lashing out every time they were tired, angry, or frustrated I KNOW I cannot visit these issues on my children. THE CYCLE MUST BE BROKEN.

I also believe there is some genetics involved with this issue. My children did not grow up in a violent home, and yet my youngest has an anger control problem, his identical twin is fine. Fortunately for us all, we were able to get him help. I'm very proud of the work he continues to do to remain healthy and responsible with his words and actions.

I have worked very very hard to deal with my anger issues. My brother has not. His anger still controls him. He loves my kids a great deal, I know that. But I have never allowed him to be alone with them. I know he would never intentionally hurt them, but kids do stupid things and my brother has anger issues and lack of impulse control when he's angry.

You will not be able to make up such a horrible situation to your nephews. You can become a positive influence on their lives by showing that although it is natural to become angry, there are right ways and wrong ways to deal with that anger.

I would also like to add that anger, frustration, annoyance all of these negative feelings eat you up inside. Once you learn to deal with these things in a positive manner your life is much happier. You cannot change the past, only the future.