Uhhhhhhhh...

Yeah. Weird question: Anyone have one of those impulse control disorders, as well as an addiction to self-injury??

I know it's an interesting distinction...

Back in elementary/highschool, I was highly prone to pulling my hair, biting my nails (and I do bite the skin around them including hangnails) and scratching my head until it bled....

But it wasn't ever FOR the pain. In fact, whenever it wound up hurting I would be so upset with myself that I'd manage to stop the behaviour for a short period of time.

Just to start doing it again.

Fast forward a few years, and I started self-injuring. Where I would INTENTIONALLY cause myself harm (scratching/cutting/etc) FOR the pain. I wanted it...

Anyways, so I've been good. I gave up self injuring over two years ago.

But these other impulse control behaviours??

Nope. Still have them. Not so bad with trichotillomania, unless you count the hairs that grow in random places on your face (like my chin). I justify that saying I don't want a beard as a woman!

But the picking at my skin/scratching at my skin (like my entire back, I have bad skin to begin with... rather pimply but not...) so I pick at it/scratch it and it obviously bleeds... and then my fingernails I bite (I tried cutting my nails, wearing that nasty-tasting fingernail stuff as an aversion technique... and nothing helps) and I wind up biting the skin around my fingernails too...

I just have really weird ticks that I can't seem to control and it irritates the crap out of me since I DONT WANT TO DO IT. If I *wanted* to hurt myself, I'd go back to self-injuring! I hate it.

Anyways, this is another one of Christina's new "figuring out her problems" posts, thanks for listening.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dermatophagia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dermatillomania
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trichotillomania