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turquoisesea · Jun 09, 2009, 10:00 PM

If my files were subpoenad.... I would be a mix of FURIOUS, super upset, super embarrassed, horrified, wanting to hide from everyone and everything, and ... I've got trust issues too and I don't think I'd trust very easily for... quite a while. I'm so sorry this happened to you.

As embarrassing as it is though, I think you can move past it, and it's a limited number of people who get to see it right?

I'd advise MAKING time to start the grief process in a productive way. I had some trouble getting through the death of a loved one which lasted a very long time because I repressed it - at the time it happened I wasn't in an environment in which it was "safe" to express grief. But then 2-3 years later... everything came back HARD and ontop of other problems that had come up. And it caused depression all the way through and inbetween. My advice - get pictures of the people you have lost, write about them, do what feels right. Maybe even set some time aside every day or every week to mourn. Maybe talking about them with a friend would help. Just, try to find a way to EXPRESS the grief or whatever else you are feeling. I find that words and crying have helped the most, I am lucky to have had my bf to help me too.

Deal with the current events one step at a time. Wake up. Brush teeth. Shower. Etc. Try your best to leave time to deal with emotions - journaling has really helped me - but pick the most important "problem" and work on that first - one thing at a time , always.

sending you many hugs