(((((((bananasarecool)))))))

Have you ever worn glasses? I have, and the very first time I put on my glasses, it was a total shock. I'm near-sighted, so anything more than three feet away from my face gets fuzzy. I didn't realize that the world could be so clear. I didn't realize that the world had sharp edges, that when I watched TV I could make out the individual features on a person's face -- did you know that actors' facial expressions are a large part of their art? I never really got that, because I was too near-sighted to tell until I got glasses, and then the world came clear. Now, when I'm not wearing my glasses, I see the world as a distortion, as wrong, somehow, and something I had to navigate more carefully now that I know I'm not seeing it properly.

The depression is a little the same. When my meds/counselling finally kicked in, it was like putting on glasses for the very first time. You don't realize how distorted your worldview is -- how sick you really are -- until you're given new "lenses" through which to view it.

Take care of yourself and keep us posted on how you're doing. I know it seems that way, but this won't last forever.