((((( Pomegranage )))))

Imapatient wrote, > Therapy is a vehicle for helping us discover ourselves, understand ourselves, and develop skills and strategies for how to live. <

This is well put. and the work of discovery is hard work; and as often as not, it hurts; and it's all worth it, worth it, worth it.

if you don't mind, I'll relate a story I once heard, and is something I talked about with T for a long time yesterday).

A group of sisters told their spiritual director that they wanted to work on improving the virtue of humility.
From that moment on it seemed that nothing they did for him was right; the linens were pressed improperly, the food was overcooked or undercooked, the floors and windows were not clean enough, etc etc etc.
The poor sisters were beside themselves; no amount of work seemed to be enough.
Finally they sent one of their number to see him; Father, they said, what’s wrong? We try and try but we can never please you; won’t you tell us why you are always so critical and displeased.
He said, “I thought you wanted to work on the virtue of humility.”
She replied, “Oh! Well if THAT’s all it is – ok, fine then. Thanks !”
And from that day on, they never made a step forward.

Being told isn’t the same as finding out for yourself. Being told (I think Sunny said this) is cognitive knowledge; what you are after in therapy is heart knowledge, if I can put it that way, and apparently it is only this that can heal us or change us.