Hi Pomegranate. I'm sorry you are feeling down. My mother died of beast cancer when I was 15, and my father died of a massive heart attack when I was 27. My mom was verbally abusive to my sister and me. There was a few times she had hit us with things. I remember one time when I was in first grade she was very angry with me, and hit me in the face with a brush that left marks on my face. There also was a few times that my mom would push me and my sister up against the wall and smacked our faces. Her verbal abuse consisted of calling my sister and me everything but our own names. Threw all this I still love my mom. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about her. My dad wasn't really active in my life. My mom and dad divorced when I was 3 years old. When my mom passed I lived with him for 6 months. I really never knew my dad well. After our falling out I didn't speak to him for 10 years. I walked back into his life a year before he passed. I found out when he passed he really did love me. I still think about him too. You know it took me a long time to accept the fact that my parents were who they were. They hurt me, but I think to myself they did the best they could do in their life. I know that people know right from wrong, but I also learned that I can only change myself and nobody else. I can accept them for who they are or they can just stay out of my life. Take care and I hope tomorrow will be a better day for you.