Tomorrow I go to the P-doc. This is my lon awaited appointment so that I can feel some stability.

Now I am nervous. I feel like this is my last day of freedom and tomorrow I will really have to face this thing for real.

And here's the other thing...I have been feeling well. Normal for several days now. I am afraid the p-doc will see a normal, functioning, happy person and not treat me.

I know this is silly, but when I am feeling well it is hard to describe how I am when I am not...

Does this make sense? It's like I almost wnat to be sick when I go to his office so that he can see what is going on and not have to rely on my hearsay.

Ack! Can't I even enjoy my healthy moments?