I don't really know how to say all I want to say. I don't want this sounding like I want to change how things are. I just feel like I don't exist. I go into chat and for the most part I want to support others. But when I need support there is almost no one. Like today (this happens a lot) there were 10 people in chat and I go to support and end up just sitting there alone. No one to help. I feel like unless I am supporting others I don't exist.

Then comes the other problem. When I do find someone it is the same few people that support and I feel like I am just going to bother them by talking about things because I don't want what has happened before where I am told I am ALWAYS talking to the same people and are too dependent on them. I don't mean to do this. I just need support and can't get it.

I don't want people to think this message is to change and for people to just come to support me because of this message. I don't want to pressure anyone into things.

I am just very lost. I don't know where to go. I feel like I deserve to hide. Which is why I create the room deserve to hide or hiding or what not because I feel like If I can sit in support alone with 8-20 people in chat and sit there alone for over an hour I guess I am in non existance.

Well I have to go to work.

Sorry for the ramble. It takes a lot for me to post anythign.

Doll