I think it is very important to have your feelings be heard before terminating with your T. Is she willing to work with you on this? I really think it will be a necessary part of leaving therapy and that she should see you through it.

Attachment in therapy seems very advantageous to having a successful result. It does come with the risk of the things you have described here. It is something you need to bring to your T's attention. Learning from your reactions, feelings and behavior during the attachment are very important. It will be very helpful to understand why you feel the way you do, how your therapist has been meeting your needs, what you can do to have those needs met outside of the room without your T and to discover what is at the root of these feelings. Then you can use all of this information to have healthier relationships.

I also really believe that you have to grieve the loss and find peace with it in your own way. This can take time. I personally feel it would be wrong for your T to not allow you to work through this with her. Have you told her about your feelings?

I am 40 years old and have also had a difficult time separating from my therapist. Age is not a factor. I am really to a positive point with my separation now. My therapist helped me through the most difficult parts by allowing me several sessions to air my feelings out to him. It has been a long and difficult road, but one that I do not for one moment regret taking. I still love him very much, but I have accepted the limitations of our relationship. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there.