do you have a T? somone who is helping you with ths as an ongoing thing?

I agree your children could be angry and anger is prob hiding fear - fear that you will leave them again - now dont go beating yourself up about this - it doesnt help it only makes things worse - think how you can make them feel safe - by getting help and being with them -

I fyou went away a few times they have to learn to trust that you will be there for them that will help the anger - anger when met with love dissipates in time jmo

Be kind to you ok - talk to YOU as if you were talking to me if I said the things you did -