Err.
I dont know if this is specifically me needing help, or maybe a rant. You can decide..

Ok so, lately I've just realized reality, and everything about it, and it's gotten me into a deep depression.

First off, weight. I do eat for comfort, I've realized that, and it seriously is making me mad. I've been eating healthier and excercising alot more, but nothing seems to work..

Second, my whole family is like SCREWED or something.
My older sister is a transgender, Female > Male, which I have no problem w/, but it seems as if she wants things SO bad, like money for surgery, a new id, and she's driving w/out a liscense which worries me ALOT. And, she's really stuck up at times, as if she cared only for her self, and maybe a few others, but those "others" aren't us, being the family which loves her the most.

Thirdly, my cutting. UGH. I cant stand that I do this, but I have SO MUCH ANGER inside of me that I take my anger out on myself, odd I know but what can I say? I'm weird.

Fourthly, my look. My friends and family and people close to me say I'm pretty, but me on the other hand, well I think I'm ugly. I dont KNOW if my brain is playing some sort of trick on me to where I'm seeing something totally different, but I REALLY think I'm fat & ugly, (no, I'm not a skinny girl who thinks she's fat, I really do have poundage) no doubt. I look in the mirror and think WHY do I look like this, then again, there has GOT to be a reason I look like this.

Then, my anger issues. I piss my mom off ALOT with my anger, but I cant help it. I take my anger out on one of two things: 1. Me, 2. The people I love.

Sixth, love. Okay, I'm 13. What? Love? Yes, love. I've sadly realized the truth-girls around me have someone OTHER than family or friends to love them, I dont. I WISH for ONCE I could be pretty enough to just have someone like that, I guy who loved me for ME. And well, I don't know when or how soon its gonna happen.

Lastly, reality and the world itself. Ive realized thats all thats shown off are girls who are super tiny, and then the world is totally screwed, w/the economy which depresses my mother, and I HATE seeing my mom sad.

asdfghjkl;'
As you can see, I think my life is just about screwed from here.

>.>
Thanks for letting me let all this out;;