You dont need to do it you have gone so long without doing it. I know you can fight the urge you have done it before and you can do it again! Please try and do something to take your mind off it. Turn your music up really loud and scream as loud as you can and do that till you cant scream no more. Its worth a try isnt it?. You dont need to do this you are strong you can fight the urge! Please be safe