Hey everybody,

I just want to get this out of my head and on to 'paper'. My depression has lasted the better part of ten years now where I've been medicated all but two of those years. Not to say that I didn't need meds during that two year period, just that I coped with it through anorexia and bulimia. Anyway, I can't seem to figure out what is causing the depression. I have recovered from the anorexia and bulimia for two years now but the depression lingers. The meds make me functionable. But I still don't shower every day or brush my teeth everyday or wash my clothes like I should or cook for myself. If it isn't easily to hand I don't eat it, It's like I'm not worth the effort. I don't have the effort inside of me to make. There's no motivation <-- wrong word to get going in the morning. I have nothing that makes me want to get out of bed. I do because I have to work for a living but other than that and school when I go I wouldn't get out of bed, even with the meds. I sleep all day and I'm so sad that I'm wasting away my life. I'm young and beautiful and have so much to look forward to that it shouldn't be this way. But I can't seem to figure out why the depression lingers. Any thoughts would be nice.

Some more info just for background. I've been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder - depressive subtype, I've recently divorced my husband of nine years. I'm 28 and have been depressed most of my life. Attempted suicide four times - but thank God that won't happen again.

Love and Hugs,
Tara