Hi Jay! I am sorry that you are feeling anxious about the appt. This seems very, very normal. We are all this way when we first go for help. I am so glad that you are taking the first steps. I don't have any personal experience with SI so I don't know what to tell you about your marks. I do know that being honest is the best way to get proper help. I have been anxious about many, many things in my life but I have never let it stop me. I have done things shaking and very pale in my face. I have never regretted any of it. Pushing yourself even when you are afraid is how you get rid of the fear (by taking the first steps to work through it).