Very rough session today. I knew it. I posted that wizard of oz thread before and then after I went to therapy realized I was in a child state at T. I am beginning to know that when I am in that particular child state I am completely and utterly vulnerable. So, almost whatever comes up in session devastates me, because I am little and defenseless--or so it seems. This is the little kid who HIDES MOST OF THE TIME.

I have a hard time letting the adult in when I feel this way. Big breath.

I cried so hard with T that there were holes in the tissue. At one point I told him I felt as though he were pushing me away and he said, "You can get rid of me when YOU are ready." This is too hard. The SI returned on the way home. YUCK.

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