(((((((((((((((((((((((hangingon)))))))))))))))))))))))))
From what I have READ, consistency is one of the really important boundaries that makes a therapy relationship safe. It is important to know that your therapist will be there for you when he/she says she is going to. I am really surprised by the things your T said, and I do wonder what her issue is. I can absolutely understand why you would be upset, confused, sad, hurt, angry, etc.
I have been seeing my therapist (in private practice) twice a week since November 2007 and he has literally only canceled my appointment once - it was a noon appt on a Friday and an emergency came up. He asked if I could come in THAT SAME DAY at 3pm, and I was able to do it. When I went to the session, he totally processed it with me, even though I was really okay. He has been there for every other session that we have scheduled. Maybe this is not the norm, but I suspect that it is more common that canceling/rescheduling 8 times in a few months.
Hanging on, try to know that this is HER issue, not yours. She obviously doesn't want to be tied down to a consistent schedule for some reason. From the things she said, it sounds like she only wants clients who are willing to change their appointments constantly. If that is not you, that is not you (I would definitely not do well in that situation myself). I distinctly remember the day that my T suggested "1 on Mondays and noon on Fridays" - I felt so secure knowing that those two times would be set aside for me every week. We've had to change my regular appointment time since then, but it is still consistent. That is what YOU deserve as well.
This is not about you, it is about her. Please try not to turn it on yourself. You deserve the best care...if she can't give it to you, that is a problem with her, NOT with you.
Sending lots of
to you. Please be gentle with yourself.