I know, I just don't know what to do. I'm crying my eyes out.

I just expected to go in and have her say she was sorry that she cancelled so many times and that she didn't know it bothered me so much. That she would "try" her best to not do that so much with me. Some consolation....something to ease my fears but, no, one email and now all of a sudden I have too many needs. She has never expressed anything like this to me before. I have no idea where she was coming from.

My other T use to praise how well I did things on my own.
I have never called my T, nothing. An email once a week after session was the norm, never even emailed her last week. It's all because I finally spoke up and told her how the cancellations made me feel.

But it turned into this huge defensiveness on her part. It's hard to grasp the way she was.

She kept asking me to tell her how I felt in the session, then I would tell her and she would get defensive about what I had said. So I said why do you want me to tell you. I tell you and then you basically say its wrong. Whats the point.
I said, I wish I never told you about the cancellations, we wouldn't be going through this right now. You never thought this stuff about me before. She said, it's good you are telling me, I said no its not because now your telling me you can't be consistent with me. Basically that I need to find someone else.

As I was leaving, I apologized again. Why.....it's not going to change anything....