(((((((((((hangingon))))))))))

i'm going to try to respond more later to your post but this:

is complete b.s. over the course of many years i have seen one t for 9 months and no cancellations, another for 3+ years same thing, another who would very occasionally ask if she could shift my appt time for another client (she was my same faith and things are a bit different then as they tend to be more open). it didn't bother me that she asked this either. i saw her for several years and i don't remember if she ever did cancel on me but if she did it was because of major health stuff (like when her husband went into a coma, no joke) and it would have only been a few times total over several years. your t is behaving unprofessionally and i have no doubt of that. i think you and i started with our latest ts right at about the same time. mine has never cancelled. all these ts have been private practice.

i can understand a little bit of what she was saying to you in your discussion about feelings, etc. but overall i think she handled this quite poorly. i am so sorry. you asserted yourself and did a great job by telling her how you felt and please, please do not think that was the problem. it was most certainly not. oh, i am feeling mad at your t now!