oh hanginon,
I think a lot of us would feel badly too if this happened to us. What you are feeling is so normal. She betrayed you, in more than one way too. I think many of are shocked at her behavior. I am glad you can see that it is her defensiveness speaking and in a way I am glad you could see her true colors before you got even deeper. A T should offer your referrals, but would you really trust any names she would give you? I hope your other T can help you find someone. IT is hard and frustrating to start over, but is better to find someone who fits you better and your needs. You will be okay, you deserve so much better.