(((((hangingon)))))

I have been seeing my therapist for 2.5 years and he has canceled once. He is in private practice. If anything, I think Ts in private practice need to cancel less so they won't lose their clients and referral base. My previous T, also in private practice, never canceled a single time in the 6 months I saw her. Both of those Ts, as well as my daughter's T and our family therapist, had very firm policies on cancellation. If the client canceled with less than 24 hours in advance (48 for one T), they had to pay the full session fee. Did your T cancel with little notice or well in advance? If she canceled regularly on short notice, I think she needs to give you some sort of compensation for the effort you put in to save that spot on yoru schedule for her, get work release, rearrange other meetings, etc. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

My T and I have a different arrangement from yours. We do not see each other at the same time each week. Each time I see him, it is a different day and time. He would have a hard time seeing me the same time each week since his schedule is so changeable during business hours because of his coaching responsibilities. If I needed the same time each week, I would have to have one of his evening appointments, which are very popular. So I don't have the consistency of the same day/time each week, but because of our flexibility, we set appointments (1-2 weeks in advance) at times that T knows he will be available. So he does not cancel on me. I'm telling you this because I wonder if this sort of arrangement would suit both you and your T? She could have more control over her weekly schedule since it sounds like she has obligations that call her away frequently, and you would have the reassurance that the times she did schedule you (different each week) would be appointments she would definitely keep.

So that's a suggestion for middle ground, but frankly, I don't see your T trying very hard to mend the rupture between you. She is acting like it is all your fault and your responsibility to fix the relationship.

As has been said, she sounds very defensive about her frequent cancellations and was severely back pedaling to try to cover her *****. This sounds like the behavior of a person who has known or suspected all along that she was in the wrong for her behavior. She sounds very immature and can't own up to errors when she makes them. Also, it seems odd to me she wouldn't suggest something like the solution I described above. This seems like it offers both flexibility for her and no-cancellation for you. If she wanted to mend the rupture, she would propose compromises like that, IMO. Instead, you end up apologizing to her instead of vice versa, and she seems to suggest that in a week's time you may come to your senses and understand how wrong you are. Gag. She thinks highly of herself, doesn't she?

I hope you get some helpful guidance from your counselor.