I'm fifteen and i feel like my lifes gone to **** too.
Even if you don't have depression, things will definitely get better. To be a teenager right now is fairly crap... And to be going through all of this too probably makes it very hard.
My life is probably incredibly different but I can really relate... to me being thin was absolutely everything. I've tried "comfort eating" before but it really didnt make me feel better, just fatter and more worthless than ever.
When you want to binge or you feel like utter crap try doing something else? like try to spend a few minutes with your family, you dont have to tell them how you're feeling but it really helps me feel less alone.
And i take my anger out on myself too... i hate arguing. i hate hating people. so i just hate me instead. and its not healthy and its not going to help anyone but its a habit i think needs breaking.. and i know how addictive harming can be. Do you see a counsellor or anything? if you dont, try to? you really need to talk to someone about it [:.
And "love"... well at thirteen i was still single and to me it seemed like everyone else was all loved up and happy.. so i went out with a guy that treated me like crap and used me. in decemer though i started going out with my current boyfriend who had been a good friend for a while... and i guess things just happen. as it turns out half my year still havent even dated yet and im fifteen, so it really says nothing about you to not have so far.
and im probably not the best person to give advice right now because im in a veryy negative state of mind but just remember.... other people are going through these problems too. its ok to rant, keeping it all inside really screws with your head and its bound to make you angry. and you're not alone with the self esteem thing, 90% of teenage girls have issues with the way that they look. life gets better for everyone, i promise!
just keep holding on :]
x.