you know, im actually making ends meet.

it's kinda of scary.

it was just a few years ago i was literally planning to overdose myself because i didnt think i could handle it all. my family was dying, i realized it was just going to be me taking care of me and i didnt think i could do it. I thought i was going to be living under a bridge, starving to death.

i was so full of fear.

now im looking back and i cant really believe i made it. I'm still broke, im still poor... but dear god im pulling it off.

i actually got a full fridge of food today!

i get so down on myself for not being where i want to be, but when i sit back and think of where i was... i really dont understand why i beat myself up so much. i probably will forget this in a week or two, and go back to whinning but how pathetic i am, but today i realized im getting better.

maybe there is hope for a better life down the road.