No, of course they didn't love me or want me. Maybe they cared about me and supported me in the way of treating me like they did to make me a better person, to make sure that I always pushed myself hard to be a better person...???? I don't know.

I guess you're right about using their high expectations to dgrade and control me. Hmmmm. See, that's something that proves to me that I don't have control. :-/ I still feel like it was for my personal development ad growth, though because they wanted me to be the best person I could, right? Surely? Yeah? Hmmm.

No not everyone likes them... Not everyone that knows what they're like and believes me when i tell them what they're like... But the people that don't know what they're like and how they treated me do like them, they love them in fact, they think they're the best, most wonderful, caring, loving parents in the world and they'd love to have them as parents... If only they knew dammit!!!!

I'm not saying I want to stop people from disrespecting me, I just want someone to respect me for who I am. not who they want me to be I'm getting sick of that, I got sick of it long ago and it't really hammering on in my head and just frustrating me and making me mad!!!!!! I feel like people only pretend to respect me because they know they can get something out of me. Or they DID. Not anymore.

My friends, Connor, his family, people here, are important to me... But The Adoptive Family still have some importanc in my life because they don't love me and that's all I ever wanted was to be loved etc by them... I don't know when I'll ever stop wantign that, but one thing I do know is that it's not doing me any good, but how the fricken hell do I stop??????

I still think the right people will be taken aback and be unexpectant of it, so be scared by it and run away.. I don't believe that little girl part of me is likable. .....?