Miss C, I hear you. What are you avoiding? I'm not sure, perhaps fear? I know I feel like you do when I've had something come up for me that contains lots of fear, and it seems as if everything T says is indifference to my fears. Your T's remark about you being able to get rid of him when you are ready perhaps appeared as him not holding you enought? It always feels better when our T's say things that appear is if they will fight tooth and nail to keep us, but I know they can't do that exactly beause it would be unethical and proberbly not the "right" thing to do, but still, it would mean that they see our fears and they aren't going to let us do it alone, but somehow if they act in a different way, then its just re-enforcing what we're trying to rid ourselfs off? Then we caught in a bind, the gap between our fantasys adn the real seem unsurviable?? I dunno perhaps I'm reading myself into your stuff here, its just I recognised your pain.