Hi,
I understand how you miss certain parts of that relationship, but if you both were having conflicts about sex, then it's better you're not together. You would have continued to feel pressure about sex and with your background it would then be magnified. Are you in therapy for your past sex abuse? He shouln't have pushed you to do things you weren't comfortable with. You're not unlovable you just need to heal from this and the past. Keep busy and be content and love yourself.