I guess if I feel like that in therapy, I guess I could stop what I'm saying and tell Counsellor that I feel like crying and we can kinda talk about itand hopefully figure out why I block the tears and stuff, hopefully break that down. I don't know. I'm scared.

No, these people aren't respectful, but when i think about it, it always comes back to the fact that they adopted me and took me in and they're my Adoptive Parents, they gave me another chance at life... I know they made it worse despite being supposed to make it better, but then I look at that again and think... Who would I be if I hadn't been through all of this? Would I be such a kind and caring person? Probably, but not so much as I am... maybe taht's a good thing, maybe it's a bad thing.

I just ad to fill out a whole long form abotu my mental health and everything. Jeez! It took me an hour and a half. I had to think about every tiny detail. Gaaahhhh! There was so much to write about!

I am applying for a job within the NHS too. They are welcoming to people who have had experiences of mental health difficulties, which is great and Nick (key support worker helping me with it) is sure that I've got a very high chance of getting the job... Considering I have had NO experience with it as a job, just as something I do in my personal life, i know it'll be a challenge, but then again I'm looking forward to if I do get the job because it means I will feel like a better person, be able to understand the people, respect them and treat them well and allow them to hold their dignity! Alongside feeling like I am bettering myself along the way. Ahhhh. I'm scared, but excited but anxious all at the same time! :-/

The only problem I have at the moment is the ******* stomach pains from eating today when Connor was here :-( I went out of the room earlier, to the bathroom and started bawling my eyes out iwthout Connor knowing. I sighed a lot and he asked what was wrong, but I just said I had a lot on my mind and nothing more was said luckily. I didn't feel like going into details.

I hope things improve

Thank you for researching the hot flashes for me, it makes sense now...