Mouse,
You may have hit on something. I knew the obvious of what I was avoiding but underneath I do think it might be that old fear--of abandonment, being alone, left on my own--an old story. Actually T's remark came at a moment in the conversation when I needed to hear him say that so I did feel held, and yet, I felt pushed away simultaneously. I do see it's his dilemma in a way--trying to hold me, support me, and encourage me to grow and as he said "get out into the world a bit." THRUST FROM THE WOMB? A toddler constantly checking to see if Mom is still there?

EEEGADS