Honestly, I feel like there are too many red flags. You've handled this so well. You're not her therapist so you shouldn't have to deal with her countertransference issues. If she can't handle it - she shouldn't be doing this push pull with you, she's not acting very professional. You deserve the consistency you're looking for. Find a new T hanginon, you're bright and clearly willing to work - you need to find someone who is willing to do their part of the work with you. Good luck