I posted my T full response to my email below...
I do want to believe her, some of it was nice but I still sense alot of blame placed on me in the email.....Like I said earlier; if I had told her earlier about the issue would she really have honored me for my assertiveness?

I mean I am doing that now, and there is not honor being expressed to me, just that now all of a sudden she's concerned that she can't meet my needs....
Then her comment about changing appointment being different than cancellations, yes, they are not exactly the same but when you set up a schedule and then all of a sudden it has to be changed, it's still hard to do. There have been just as many cancellations as time changes..

Hi ########,

Thank you for your thoughts. I am aware of how hurt and angry you are, and I am sorry. I also regret that you continue to believe I was telling you that "I am what you need." I said that I am concerned that I cannot meet your needs, and ethically I have to share that with you.

Changing appointment times is not the same as cancellations. It is merely about schedule. I have always reminded you of my availabilty by phone and email, though I have certainly encouraged you to speak more in session than reserve the depth of your feelings for emails in between sessions. You have also been gracious in agreeing to my schedule change requests, and have not shared, until last night, that it has been a mounting trust issue for you. I am deeply sorry that our work has been affected by your unexpressed concerns about the nature of our relationship.

Your therapy work should be whatever you need it to be, and it is your responsibility, even though I know it can be very hard, to express that to your therapist. I understand how difficult trust is for survivors, and, yes, it is something I am very familiar with many clients. In order for our professional relationship to be effective for your recovery, the more honest you can be, the better. So, if you had told me a schedule change was a problem or concern for you, I would have honored that, and affirmed your assertiveness.

You are correct in recognizing my counter-transferance -- I was, as I said, frustrated with explaining the changes I must make to my professional practice, and my intentions toward helping you. I hope you can also recognize the transference I noted in your expectation that I was treating you like the last therapist, and that my feelings were like your mother's and others who have negated your abuse, and denied you help.

I am glad you are coming on Tuesday to continue talking. We will address a plan together then.

Take care,
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